When I think about my life before I came to St. Martin de Porres House of Hope, it can be described as a life in the pits of hell. I had lost all three of my children. My lifestyle was one of addiction, promiscuity, hopelessness, isolation, unemployment, degradation, loneliness, grave emotional and mental disorders. I was a mess. When I came to St. Martin’s in January 2000, I had already been to 16 treatment facilities; St. Martin’s was the 17th. I had used mind and mood altering chemicals since the age of seven. Emotionally, I was a wreck.

Before I came to live at St. Martin’s, I would pray all the time and ask God to please help me to get myself together. “Oh God, please help me not to die out here in these streets as an addict. Help me Father, PLEASEEEEEEEE.” I would sing up and down the streets at night, because I wanted to get His attention. I wanted God to see me, to hear me, his daughter. “Help me to get myself together Father.” The pains of loss propelled me to step out of my addict zone and fight for a new lease on my life. Metaphorically, I saw a train that read: “Going up yonder to be with Jesus.” I said to myself, “that sounds like a good train.” But, what I did not know, was that the train’s destination was St. Martin de Porres House of Hope. Thank you God!

Living with Sister Therese and Sister Connie, was just like the movie: “The Good, Bad, and the Ugly.” I was the ugly. They worked with me and gave me that individualized style of care and treatment that a fool like me could understand. I was at the bottom. I needed a tailor made plan that was designed just for me. Sister Therese had her hands full with me. However, I got through it. St. Martin’s changed my life from a train wreck with so many devastating consequences to being the phenomenal woman I am today.

I have never known another program for women and children like the one at St. Martin’s. For me, it mapped out a program of recovery which included: the Narcotic Anonymous program, the Woodlawn Mental Health Center down the street, computers in the HOH, morning meditation groups, 12-step groups, sponsorship, individualized counseling, the Cara Program, the alumni women, math tutoring, and a library full of books.

I lived in a dorm. We had locker/crate inspections. I helped in the preschool and I did scores of chores including: cleaning, mopping, taking out boxes, working in the backyard area, cleaning bathrooms, cooking, washing the dishes, and doing laundry for sheets and blankets. One day, when Sister Therese heard me singing in the backyard and brought music into the House of Hope. The women have since made a music CD with other choirs and I sand a solo on that CD. Living in a shelter for women and children, we made music, thanks to the music program.

My life has changed in so many ways since leaving St. Martins in September 2001. I will be sober for 11 years in January. I have been employed with a large hospital system for almost 10 years. I now sing with the hospital choir. I went back to school and earned my Associates Degree in June 2004, after 23 years of trying to get it. I received my Bachelors of Arts Degree in May 2008, and currently I am pursuing my Masters Degree in Social Work. I still volunteer at St. Martin’s de Porres with the ladies and our sponsorship group. I love Sister Therese. I know she loves and cares for me. God Bless Sister Therese, St. Martin de Porres House of Hope, the women and children. Oh Yeah, I am getting married too, and he’s a lawyer, and we are traveling. Nobody but God…I love you Jesus.